Family, Mommy Life, Mommy's Reflections, Relationships

Is Motherhood Sweeter The Second Time Around?

Our friends and family know that my first pregnancy with Gabriel was unplanned and out of wedlock. The year that Bryan and I got married is the same year that I gave birth to Gabriel. And every single thing was never the same again!

The moment that I’ve come to realize that I am pregnant with Gabriel, though it was unplanned, I know I am ready. I am ready to welcome a little baby in this world, hold and hug him tight in my arms, and give all the best that I could give even if there’s nothing left for myself anymore. The love I feel for my first born is so strong and overwhelming that I always ask myself, could I still love another tiny human being as much  as I love my little man, Gabriel?

Fast forward to a year and a half of being a Momma to Gabriel, we discovered that another blessing has arrived. There’s another bun in the oven!!!

blurred-test-result-pregnancy-test-kit

Honestly, my reaction from learning I was pregnant with Gabriel is very much different with how I reacted when I saw 1 clear pink and 1 blurred pink line in the 1st PT kit that I used.

I immediately talked to my co-mommies in an online support group that I am in, and they all advised me test on another one but also already congratulating me because I am most probably, 90% pregnant. After all, false negative results are more common than false positives.

Side story: I went to the generic drugstore near our home on the same night I tested the first PT kit above. I bought 3 PT kits. I know it’s insane but I was so skeptic of the first result. Though the kit wasn’t expired yet, I was thinking that it might be defective because it’s been in our cabinet for quite some time already. Funny thing, though, because I am so nervous and all, I forgot the keys when I came out of our door. I don’t have my phone with me, too! All I have is my money and an umbrella. Haha! I was so out of my mind obviously. I just stayed at my in-laws’ house with Gabriel (good thing, it’s just a building away from our unit).  I had to wait for my husband to come home from work because he has the spare key. Super LOL moment. Aligaga ang lola nyo!

Positive Result Pregnancy Test Kits

And yes you’re seeing four used PT kits! Ganu’n ako ka-hindi makapaniwala! Even Bryan can’t believe this news at first because we intend to have our 2nd child at least 3-5 years apart from when our Gabriel was born.

Haaay.

I burst into tears. I immediately thought about my little man. My dearest, little tot, whom I still breastfeed. Paano na si bebe? – my heartbreaking thoughts.

Please don’t get me wrong. I also fancy having a second baby. I just never thought it would be this early. I don’t know if it’s just me but I think I was crying for a whole week since I’ve known I am yet again, pregnant. The hormones were raging and destroying my emotional health for quite some time and it gave me what seems like endless guilt for being pregnant once again.

Aside from worrying that our current finances may not be enough for an additional joy to the family, I am also emotionally tortured with guilt. I am so devoted to being a mother to my first born and I feel like I am not ready for a divided attention just yet.

I am already two months pregnant now and I avoid carrying heavy objects. Meaning to say, I also cannot carry my now 10.5 kgs toddler even he wants me to. Even he insists I would have to resist.

The guilt even grows stronger because I know that our breastfeeding journey will have to end at some point. I’m lucky enough that I am not experiencing spotting or bleeding that would force me to stop breastfeeding my son. But I know that my milk supply will eventually decrease until my son voluntarily wean. 🙁

With all the changes coming to our lives again, I am trying to keep the positivity alive. A new baby is a sign that the Lord is abundantly blessing our family. He never forgets. He’s always in perfect timing and everything happens in His will if we just lay our trusts upon Him.

My husband and I honestly don’t know what happened. We are on natural birth control method and yet we have conceived another life inside my womb. That, for us, is what God has planned for our family. And we gratefully embrace the change that is yet to come to our lives. After all, sabi nga nila, at least Gabriel will have his playmate already which will hopefully lessen his suplado reflexes. Lol!

I am hoping for a baby girl tapos quota na besh! Haha! But the husband wants another baby boy (because he’s afraid to have a baby girl. Medyo takot yata sa karma ang lolo nyo 😛 ). I am excited somehow because if our 2nd baby is indeed a girl, I’ll have someone to go with me on a shopping trip, on nail salons and spas! I’d be her first BFF in life and we will have a great time together doing kaartehan stuff (oops, sorry daddy! It’s a girl thing! Haha!).

They say that a Mother’s Love is quantifiable. So why should I be afraid that I will not be able to love our second child as much as I love our first born?

Of course, I can. I’m a Mommy! Haaay. 🙂

I would also like to think that at least, by the time that my husband and I are already in our 40s, we already have tweens! I believe it’s gonna be an exciting and sweeter life ahead of us. But first, let me take a nap because the pregnancy hormones are now kicking in again.

Have a great life everyone! 🙂

Live. Laugh. Love. Write. Pray.

Mommy Mitch

37 Comments

  1. Congrats! I know someone who used several PT just to make sure that she is pregnant. I only used one and went to OB for confirmation. 🙂

  2. congratulations on your new bundle of joy. makes me wish deus has a little sister soon. i was breastfeeding and i thought i’m pregnant the second time around, turns out my period is coming back.

  3. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. How I wish I will have another one but I have to wait on the person who will complete our family and will stand as husband and father. (Still believing he will come ?)

    1. Gracie

      Congrats! My mentor told me na ma-aamaze nalang daw ako na kapag nadagdagan ang babies nag-dadagdag din si Lord ng provision 🙂 God will take care of you sis.

  4. I’m confident that you will do good! ♥ Congratulations, sis! On breastfeeding the now “kuya”, they say the breastmilk’s taste changes daw because of the colostrum, some kids will like it even more, and some doesn’t want to taste it. Aja lang, sis! 🙂

  5. Congratulations! Its a blessing and a wonderful surprise..when i got pregnant with my second baby it was exactly the 1st bday of our eldest son and was not really planned! But i thanked God it happened coz they grew up together and now i was well adjusted.. both of them were grown ups and i have time for other things than baby baby sitting while they were in school 🙂

  6. My eldest stopped breastfeeding when he saw the second baby breastfeed. 🙂
    I can relate to you when it comes to unplanned pregnancy. I’m on my 3rd now and we didn’t plan about it,but God knows better. 🙂 He’ll give u the wisdom to meet the needs of each kid. 🙂

  7. Juvy Ann

    My brother and sister barely 2 years apart. It was a bit tough for my sister ho was just 2 at that time. She was only a baby for 2 years and then became an ate at an instant.

    I see them fighting all the time as kids… but they grew up to like each other eventually ???? (no choice)…

  8. Congratulations! A baby is always a blessing. The Lord will provide for all your needs. financial or otherwise.

  9. Congratulations! I might not be able to answer your question about how to love another child as much as the firstborn because I only have one child, my unico hijo. But I’m really happy for you; you’ve received another gift from God.

  10. thecherylf

    I used 5 PTs actually just to confirm I was pregnant. Lol. Anyway, congrats. That’s another blessing. God has reasons for blessing you with your 2nd baby this early. Ako din I fancy having my 2nd child gusto ko babae. But not now, not soon, maybe when my son is 5 years old already.

  11. Congratulations!
    I felt the same way as you when I found out I was pregnant with my second – paano na si first-born?! Luckily, he adjusted well naman!
    Kayang-kaya yan Mommy!

  12. Congrats!!! I totally get you. Ako, honestly, I’m done. I want 1 kid lang talaga. But the husband wants a boy. Ewan ko. Sabi ko bahala sya, sya magbuntis. Hahaha! But still, di padin natin masasabi talaga. Every child is a blessing so for sure, that baby will bring much more love to the family. 🙂

    1. Hahaha! I’m guessing medyo na-trauma ka sa panganganak noh? Ako rin kasi eh. Pero tingnan mo naman, buntis ulit. Yep. Blessing talaga sila sa buhay natin.

  13. Awww congratulations! I have a friend who was in exactly the same situation as you are. She got pregnant with her second child when her son was still 1. Though she was afraid, she was amazed when her son stepped up and embraced being a kuya at a very young age. So don’t worry! 🙂

    1. Oh thank you for sharing that! I also wish na sana hindi seloso ang first born ko when the new baby comes out. 🙂

  14. Take care of yourself and the little human inside the tummy. I too was surprised when we had our second son too early. When our oldest celebrated his first birthday, I was again pregnant, about 5-6months. Hehehe. no regrets though. They are big boys now, and responsible at that.

    1. Thank you! I guess that’s why you’re second son arrived too early rin. Kasi no doubt naman na you’ll be a good parent to your kids. Super idol kita sa parenting kasi ang responsible ng boys mo. 🙂

  15. rollcoastermom

    Congrats on your pregnancy! I get how you feel. I just gave birth to my 4th child (2nd son) 7 weeks ago. It was an unplanned pregnancy too. I had a lot of apprehensions because even if my last child (and then only son) was already 5 years old, he’s really really close to me. I knew the dynamics of our relationship will change once the baby comes. I too wanted a baby girl because my 2 girls are now teens but God gave us another boy. When I first found out I was a little disappointed and worried for my older boy. But now that our little one is here, I can’t imagine life without him. Best wishes to you! 🙂

    1. Thanks Mommy! I guess ganun nga talaga. At least, in a year or two, may kalaro na si kuya Ziggy. I’m sure he’s excited about the idea of him and his little brother playing together. 🙂 My son’s still young though. Sana wag syang maging seloso. 🙂

  16. amethystineblue81882

    Congratulations! I had my 2nd baby 4 years after my first, but I guess no amount of time can prepare us for the surprises. Take care! 🙂

    1. Aww. What you said is just so beautiful! Tama nga naman. And things do come at times we least expect it. So I guess that’s why I got pregnant again though it was unplanned.

  17. nhessie

    congratulations mommy! nothing beats the joy of being a mother! God bless you and your family!

    1. Thanks Mommy! 🙂 God bless you and your family, too! 😀

  18. It’s definitely a bit less stressful as experience gained from the first time helps a lot.

  19. Congrats 🙂 same as you I used 5 pregnancy test before I convince myself that I am pregnant. Wishing for another baby

  20. Congratulations, enjoy your pregnancy, sometimes it will be tough pero always worth it!

  21. Congrats on the early Christmas Gift

  22. Congrats mommy! 🙂 Me naman, on the other hand, bought a lot of PTs and tested with them also because I was so sure that I was preggy already (because of missed period and I was always on time naman). The tests came out negative though. Haha! It was another month before it became positive. Yey! Haha!

    1. Hahaha! I used all the PTs also when I saw na buntis na buntis na talaga ako. Buti na lang, mura lang yung PT na nabili ko kasi generic. Lol. Thanks and Congrats to you as well! May we have a healthy pregnancy throughout.:)

  23. Congratulations! I’ve never been pregnant but I can just imagine the joy your new baby brings. As they always say, having a baby is more than a blessing. It is a miracle. Glad you’re enjoying motherhood.

  24. Every child is a blessing, no matter the timing and I’m sure you know that. Congratulations!

  25. Congratulations to your new bundle of joy. Have a safe pregnancy 🙂

  26. Congratulations and wishing you a smooth, happy, and safe pregnancy!

  27. Congratulations! I remember finding out I was pregnant a second time. It was not pretty… lol but I’m so thankful and blessed!

    1. Haha! True! Blessings talaga ang mga babies. 🙂

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