There are things that I think are more valuable to me now after I became a mother. One of those is the ability to breastfeed my son. It is tiring for most moms, but truly fulfilling. (At least for me, that’s how I feel after seeing him satisfied and happy that he’s able to latch on me. His “Mommy, busog na po ako” smile melts my heart.) Here’s a fact: I feel comfortable and I think I gained extra confidence when I’ve decided to breastfeed my little man. It’s so easy when you’re in the comforts of your home.
You don’t have to wear your bra and you just have to pull up your shirt if the baby cries because of hunger. But what if you’re in a public place?
At first, I wasn’t open to the idea of breastfeeding my dear little Gabriel in public places. Even though we have a nursing cover, I would feel uneasy and conscious because I do feel the judging eyes looking at me. I am wondering what are they thinking about me and that adds up to stress that I feel deep inside from the sound of a cry for food from my baby. A stressed breastfeeding mother will have a hard time getting the let down of milk, therefore, will result in a more agitated, hungry crying baby. That limits me from going out of the house with or without my little one because I am always thinking of him getting hungry in places where breastfeeding stations are not available. (And also limits me to go to places where lactation rooms are available!)
But one day, I was with my husband in Jollibee, Sucat because we’ve decided to eat first since the place is just near our home. Without having any idea that there will be a thunderstorm in P’que, we dined in. I fed my little man in one corner under the nursing cover. He was sweating but I cannot do anything because I do not want to interrupt his latch on me. I just wiped his sweat using a cloth. There were some people looking at us but I tried not to mind them. I was also hungry that time and all I want is for my husband to arrive with my chicken spaghetti so I could eat. While we were eating, it started raining. It was so heavy that some people opt to come inside Jollibee just to rid themselves of being wet. When we finished our meal, we gave way to other diners for them to use our table. Bryan, my husband, tried to find a cab for us but unfortunately they are turning us down informing us that the way to our home is already flooded and no car could pass through. Other cabs would also offer a ride but will charge us double the amount of regular fare which we turned down. Some drivers will really take advantage of that kind of situation just to earn more money and we’re not gonna tolerate that. Sorry na lang mga Kuya! Bleh! 😛
Little Gabriel was asleep on momma’s chest as I was wearing him using a baby wrap. He’s always like that when I do babywearing. Behave and asleep. So we decided to stay in Jollibee and wait for the rain to stop and the flood to subside. It’s just fine until Gabriel woke up and cried out loud. He cried, and cried, and cried. Loud enough for people to notice us and look at me with questioning eyes. I can hear some whisper that maybe the baby is hungry. I felt the overwhelming pressure because there are no available chairs for me to sit in and feed him and use a cover. I can feel Gabriel’s cry for hunger and sleepiness and I feel helpless. Left with no choice, I took a deep breath and faced the wall, lowered down the wrap so he’s on level with my breasts. I unbuttoned my shirt and made him latch. And there we are, breastfeeding in public without a cover for the first time. I think some people are still looking at us because of the sudden silence but I really didn’t mind them at all…
After some minute, he again fell asleep. And boy it was a relief! Fulfilling as it is for both of us. The happy hormones are tickling every inch of my body because first, I was able to calm Gabriel; and second, I fed him in a public place without using a nursing cover! 🙂
I felt like I’ve hit another milestone in my motherhood journey. From then on, breastfeeding is no problem at all, be it inside our home or in public places. Of course, I will feed my son in a room whenever there is a designated area for nursing moms. Nonetheless, I will just find a corner, unbutton my shirt and use my white washcloth to cover the exposed part and latch him on my nipple. There’s nothing wrong with that act, so why be ashamed right?
Live. Laugh. Love. Pray.