Friends, Momma Life, Momma's Reflections, Relationships

Attending The Feast Renews My Spirit And Faith, And Helps Me Battle Depression

I have been an attendee of The Feast SM Bicutan for almost two months already. It is one of my self-help therapy to slowly recover from depression.

I go there every Sunday with my son and husband to receive spiritual talk and fill our spiritual being. And honestly, it’s one of the best things I do every week. Listening to God’s words, worshiping, glorifying and giving thanks to Him for all the things He did and will be doing in our lives. I am genuinely happy, really! This feeling –  is something I missed in my life after I graduated College.

Some 5 or 6 years ago, I use to join care cell or life group led by one of my college professor and her friends in church. My friends and I will gather every Thursday, go to a quiet and vacant room or in the Forest (the famous tambayan of students on our campus who are waiting for their next classes or are just not yet wanting to go home. Haha!), to discuss and share our thoughts about one topic that is usually based on Bible Scriptures.

 

Care Cell Informatics Northgate
Me and my schoolmates with our mentors Kuya Francis, Ate Blanch and Miss Debbie
Photo shot by my good friend, Denise Gamus

 

Our Care Cell is something I look forward to in my school each week. I love the learnings and sharings, and how blessed I feel that I am filled with God’s words and life’s wisdom after joining them.

 

Care Cell Informatics Northgate
At Festival Supermall – after our Thursday Care Cell session 🙂

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However, the Thursday sessions stopped happening when our schedules became different from each other and we cannot find a day in a week wherein all of us will be able to attend. Most of us got busy in school projects, thesis until we graduated. We left the school, found a workplace and got busier with our own lives.

Sadly, the busy work life slowly deteriorated my spiritual life. I’ve lost my balance and focused on the wrong things.

Did you ever get so busy that your whole week was spent in the office and you’re mostly doing overtime work? And you sometimes, have to work on a Saturday, too – that’s why your Sundays are mostly spent in your house, lying in bed and missing the Sunday’s Holy Mass because you want to have enough rest before Monday comes in again?

I am so guilty of this!

Believe it or not, the years that passed before I joined the Care Cell in my college days feels messy and depressing. That’s how it has been also when I stopped reading devotional books and I wasn’t attending the Sunday’s Holy Mass. And even I get to attend on some Sundays, it feels hypocritical as I wasn’t at the moment.

I was disconnected – that’s the right term. I am connected with the people around me but I am disconnected from the Lord.

I slowly stopped glorifying the Lord. Until my life felt pointless again and messy did I only notice that my spiritual life is already drained. I can never stress it enough when I say that I was suicidal at most times which I shared from my previous post about my struggles as a person with depression. Not even my family and relatives know about it. 

I became so busy pleasing them. I gave my attention and efforts to my work. I focused on the wrong things!

But you know what? The Lord has still been good to me and family in spite of our shortcomings as Christians (we’re Catholics, and we believe in Jesus, therefore we’re still Christians! :D). He never forgets. He always forgives.

Before me and my family became a regular attendee of The Feast, I personally felt ashamed because I think I am such a sinful person. I do not know if I still am worthy of the Lord’s unending love because I have disappointed Him and I fell short of my spiritual life many times already.

But when I first stepped inside The Feast, I know already that I am welcome. My family is very welcome. We were prayed over as first-time attendees. The people are a bunch of happy and grateful individuals and the feeling is contagious! It was one of the happiest moments of my life. You know why? I felt God’s overwhelming love for me as His child, His daughter once again.

It is overwhelming because it feels so new to me. I never felt so loved and accepted. I don’t know if I am just really an emotional woman, but all my life I’ve been expecting to feel loved and accepted. I’m such a people-pleaser in the hopes that I will be accepted. I grew up with the feeling that I am being despised and rejected most of the time. And because I try to please my family and my friends, I expected so highly of them thinking they will revert the love, the care, and the attention I invested in them.

Wrong. I was very wrong. I know…

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” – Matthew 6:19-21 ESV

 

It’s always God first.

 

In everything you do, put God first, and he will direct you and crown your efforts with success.” – Proverbs 3:6 TLB

 

I am writing this while praying and hoping that my family, my friends and to those who are reading this who are going through something difficult in their lives, may not repeat the same mistakes I’ve done in the past.

 

I never felt so loved until I let the Lord pour in His Love on my empty heart.
I never felt so loved until I let the Lord pour in His Love onto my empty heart. Background photo from: Unsplash

 

P.S. – Thanks to The Feast SM Bicutan, and to the Light of Jesus Family. You’re such a blessing to the people around you. May the good Lord bless you all for your good deeds. You guys from the ministry may not know me and what my story is but you are all God sent angels to bring back God’s people in His arms. 🙂 Sana dumami pa ang Feasters who will faithfully glorify the Lord!

 

P.S. no.2 – Every week, if my time permits and in God’s will, I’ll be posting my reflections from attending The Feast every Sunday. I hope I can do this regularly. It is very helpful to me as I get to reflect and introspect in a positive way.

 

Thanks be to God!

 

Live. Laugh. Love. Pray.

26 Comments

  1. I have a friend who attends in The Feast, I’m not sure which branch. Nastop na lang nung nagmigrate sila. We will always get disappointed if we focus on people so we need to focus on God. Yes, only Him can fill the emptiness in our hearts.

    1. Oh, meron na ring The Feast globally. Sana meron sa bansa kung saan sila nag-migrate. 🙂

  2. I am happy you’re renewing your faith and personal relationship with the Lord. My story is a bit different. There’s almost not a Sunday that I miss our worship service, but the problems sometimes, is it almost becomes a “ritual” or an “obligation” that I need to do and that’s not right. I am now trying my best to get out of that phase and experience true fellowship with God and with my co-believers again.

    1. That’s true. The will to worship and praise the Lord should come from the heart. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Mommy Nilyn! God bless you! 🙂

  3. Only God can help us in all circumstances in life. Sometime we overlooked Sundays mas pipiliin pa natin ang mag hang out with friends than to church. God’s word is true and alive. It is our daily bread in our weary and hungry soul.

    1. That was me before! Ngayon, priority namin na every Sundays, we hear the Word of the Lord and give him praise through worship. 🙂 Life’s just better that way. 🙂

  4. You did a great decision sis for seeking God again. Yey! Many of us thought that God is mad at us when we took a different journey and ashamed to go back to Him. But the truth is, He is waiting for us to come back, and He will welcome us arms wide open because He misses us. Continue your faithwalk sis.

    1. Thank you sis! God is good. He’s always good. 🙂

  5. It is so brave of you to share your thoughts here. Others would often have second thoughts especially if it is about their faith and the depression they have been experiencing. Nonetheless, I pray for your strength. May you find comfort in the people around you, from your baby especially, and above all strength from the Almighty.

    1. Thank you Momi Berlin! Mahirap rin talaga mag-let-it-all out sa taong may depression. But with God’s grace, healing is possible. 🙂

  6. I’ve been meaning to attend the Feast because I think it is one of those events that encompasses not only the spiritual but the practical. I have met Bo Sanchez twice and I think he is a good person, author and speaker. I hope they organize one in Quezon City. I think it is important for us to continue growing in our faith. I’m happy you found a community that is welcoming and helpful.

    1. Wow! I’ve been wishing to meet Bo Sanchez in the future as well. 🙂 Maybe someday, it will happen. I think they have a Feast in QC na rin. I’m just not sure of the exact place. Malaki rin kasi ang QC eh. Hehe

  7. I’ve never attended a Feast gathering but I have a few friends who do. I attend VSF services though. Proverbs 3:6 is one of my favorite verses (“In everything you do, put God first, and he will direct you and crown your efforts with success.”). I’m glad that you feel good every time you attend the Feast Gathering. Continue in your faith and be steadfast.

    1. Yes, I do. Everything feels lights every time I attend The Feast gatherings. I’m sure you do feel the same when you attend VSF Services. 🙂 Thank you, KT! God bless you and your family. 🙂

  8. I do feel you. Sometimes I think that I have been neglecting my spiritual life. I am too much focus on work to earn money for my family. I am glad that you have found your enlightenment by joining the feast. We have a religious friends before who will take us to Bo Sanchez preachings. I admire Bo Sanchez and I love listening to his words about God.

    1. Oh I would love to hear and see Bo Sanchez in person, too. His declaration of his love for the Lord is so moving and inspiring. 🙂

  9. Napakahirap talaga kapag may dinadaanan pagkatapos walang gabay. And there is only one who is always there. So it is up to us to seek Him, diba? Siguro it’s a matter of choice pa rin naman. Ke me dinadaan o for some people, may tinatawag din na chronic or clinical depression, e nasa tao pa rin kung mag effort to seek guidance and inspiration.

  10. Depression is a serious illness which can deteriorate your mental and physical state. I am happy for you for finding an outlet to help with your depression. Hoping for your full recovery.

  11. Laveena Sengar

    I think it is really great that you are connecting with the lord and finding the inner peace within yourself. I am a very religious person and have a lot of faith in the almighty. It’s always peaceful to take some time out and sit back.

  12. It’s good that you found joy in the Lord again through your church. What we really should always continue to remember is Jesus as our Lord and Savior can only satisfy us. As His follower, we should get to know Him more deeply by reading His word and praying to God. May we glorify Him in everything that we do.

  13. I have recently made an effort to get in touch with my spiritual side. Although I do not follow any particular religion. I do pray to God in my own ways. It does make a lot of difference and gives some hope.

  14. Glad to hear that you’re genuinely happy! That’s very precious. And it’s great you found your way to achieve it. Yes I know how it feels to work the whole week at the office and keep doing overtime. I’m so glad I put a stop on that. Glad to see you found your way!

  15. I can relate. I understand how it is to give a lot and expect to get back in return. But at the same time giving away makes you happy. Also, depression is something so hard and awful. Sometimes it goes a bit away then it comes back and puts you down harsh. It’s like something heavy you have to pull behind all the time. Finding the people that will return us back without nothing are rare, especially the one without taking everything from you. But the people who will give you back in return without nothing exist, they are the one who deserve what you’ll give away to them and they will be the one keeping up on your way without being crushed by depression and even pulling you out of it. So keep going and don’t let go 🙂

  16. Attending the Feast is really life changing and inspiring! Sad that i wasn’t able to give it a time last week. One of my partners and good friend serves at the feast.. she and her hubby are very dedicated in serving the Lord… its nice to know a lot of people setting aside their time for the glory of God.. but seek ye first his Kingdom 🙂

  17. Welcome to the LOJ family! 🙂 My husband and I met when we were serving at LOJ during our single years. There was only 1 Feast then. It was still at Camp Aguinaldo. I’m glad that you found respite from your struggles at The Feast. We sometimes attend in Bicutan. But most of the time, we go to PICC. 🙂 Try the retreats also. My husband and I make time every year for the Lenten retreats by Brother Bo.

    1. Thank you! Oh, you attend din pala in Bicutan. 🙂 Nakakatuwa naman ang love story nyo ni hubby mo. Obviously, it is written by God. <3 We've been meaning to attend the retreats kaso lang buntis ako right now. Someday, we will! Masaya pa naman daw lalo na yung Lux nga ba yun..? 🙂

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