Momma Life, Momma's Reflections

Who takes care of you, tired Momma?

“I don’t feel tired at all!” – says no Momma, ever!

Long before I gave birth to Gabriel, I already knew I will feel overwhelming love and joy, and it’s not unknown that most days are draining and that I will definitely have to endure a lot of sleepless nights. But I know that I will be able to get through those, though. ‘Coz Mums are that tough, right?

But I never know I will be thisย tired. Burnt-out-kind-of-tired.

I keep telling myself that this is just a phase in a first-time mother’s life. That this will pass. That I will get through this. But it doesn’t take away the weariness in me.

One typical morning, I woke up with a painful sensation in my upper right abdomen. I am also having hyperacidity attack which worsens the situation more. I was about to wake up my husband who’s currently comfortably asleep to bring me to the ER when the pain slowly subsided until it’s already tolerable enough. I sat in the corner of our bed, trying to relax. Then a thought just popped out in my head.

Who will take care of me, in times like this? I actually don’t know the answer.

There was an instance when I had a high-grade fever because of my pre-mastitis condition (I had this on-and-off relationship with clogged milk ducts for the first 8 months of my breastfeeding journey). Because I was sick, I let Gabriel stay at my in-law’s house. Bryan – my husband, wasn’t able to leave the office because of an unfinished task. While there I was, alone at home, feeling like I was already battling for my life. You know that awful feeling of feeling sick, having plugged ducts and high fever. I was already hallucinating that time, I guess. And yet, I force myself to get up from the bed, get my own wet towel to put on my forehead, get my own medicine to drink, get my own glass of water, check my own temperature…

That was some lonely night. Feeling like there’s no one beside me to take care of me.

But then again, I am a mother now. My family depends on me. I cannot be weak. I cannot be sick. My family needs me.

Being a mother feels lonely sometimes. Of course, it is the happiest phase of a woman’s life. There’s no need for a justification on that. Just seeing my baby’s smile already inserts pure joy to my heart.

But really, who takes care of us?

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/544443042429481849/
Are we ok, Mommas?

Personally, as of this writing, I am feeling very exhausted. I still have hyperacidity that doesn’t go away even I already took 2 tablets of chewable antacid medicine. I don’t have the appetite for food. I want to rest but I still have to cook. The pile of unfolded clothes and cloth diapers are calling for attention, and the floor needs to be mopped. Just thinking about the chores makes me feel tired already. I just feel soooooo restless (and ugly!) for the past few days. So who will take care of me?

I might seem needy, and dependent. Maybe, as a first time Momma, I still have a long way to go and a lot to learn. But right now, I am tired.

I will take a bit of rest. Just enough rest because I can never have the kind of rest that I’ve been longing for so long. But before I go to sleep, I’d like to send virtual hugs to the exhausted Mommas out there. It’s okay that we feel this way. It’s okay if we don’t feel like a superwoMOM that most people expect us to be. It’s okay if we get cranky and irritable sometimes. We’re only humans. Just a reminder to you all and to myself as well: Smile. Eat well. Pray. And take care of yourself. Because if you don’t, no one else might will.ย Us, mothers, are designed to nurture and nourish our family. And I think we have to start with ourselves first. ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Good night, Mommas!

Live. Laugh. Love. Pray.

54 Comments

  1. Awww. I hope you feel better now. Mothers are not super humans, we definitely need rest. True, that we need to take care of ourselves. However, you are not alone in times like this, that’s why we have husbands. I made it clear to mine. I expect him to be there when I need him especially when I’m sick. Family comes first.

  2. Being the primary caregivers of our families, it’s a bit sad that mothers often forget to take care of themselves. I can totally relate because just a few weeks ago, I experienced being super sick (and helpless). I had high grade fever with chills out of nowhere, I suffered from muscle pain, and even experienced nose bleeds. My husband is in service so I had no choice but to stay with him at their station just so he can watch me since we thought I had dengue. Apparently, I was just experiencing over-fatigue. After that, I swore to take care of myself better!

  3. We were just talking about this earlier. Haha! But hey, we learned a lot from the talk. Going back to the question: who takes care of you? You have yourself and your family. Have the courage and the will to put that supermom cape some time ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Don’t worry too much. Take heart from the verses from the bible about anxiety. Unlimited strength comes from unlimited love of God. I don’t think we should be super moms all the time, is ok to take things slow and give yourself special me time to rejuvenate. Sometimes the most difficult burden becomes easy shared, so it is a good idea to have “super dads and super kids” into the picture.

  5. I’ve had the same question running in my head since I became a Mom. It’s a bit harder, I guess, on my end since I am a single mom and my son has his nanny to take care of him when I am at work. My family lives in a different region so it’s just the 3 of us here in Manila. Just the thought of getting sick doesn’t sit well with me. It’s just something that I have to tough it out when it comes (I hope I don’t get sick though).

  6. It’s really easy to forget ourselves once we have our own families to think about. But you’re right, we also need to take care of ourselves. Get that much needed rest. You need it and don’t feel bad for needing it.

  7. Hugs to you, mommy! I’m thinking the answer should be the partner/husband. The problem is if husband is busy too or out of town. I’m so thankful that my husband was able to bring me to the doctor when I had a bad case of mastitis. Whew for that! I know how you felt! Anyway, I do hope you’re feeling better already. Do take care of yourself because we can’t afford to be sick.

  8. i understand where you’re coming from, and you’re not weak. trust me, i think we all go through this at some point in our lives given all we need to do as moms. try to relax, your acidity may be partly stress-related or change your diet, avoid dairy + fatty foods. antacids aren’t good for you in the long run ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. I felt that a lot of times. And a lot of times I also have my boys looking after me. There might be days they will never be no one at my side but I know with the love and care I generously give to families and friends, there will be even a single soul who would come near me and give me even a hug.

  10. Haaaay…I feel you Mommy ;(. Feeling always burnt out a lot of times. That is why a little care for the self is really important to recharge. Always remember, a happy mommy delivers a happy family. =)

  11. Yes I agree, it’s kind of like what they tell you in the plane… attend to yourself first before others.

  12. Thanks to my partner in crime who takes care of me and the kids. We really need to be pampered sometimes.

  13. I feel you. Take a breather. Take care of yourself so that you can give more and take care of your loved ones.

  14. Hugs to you mommy! Hope you feel better now. I was thinking the same thing last month when I had fever. Luckily, hubby was there to look after me but I still breastfeed my son, I just wore mask para hindi siya mahawa. I still play with my son even I do not feel well. Good thing, we have our helper to do the house chores. I think that is one of the biggest task as a mother, to be healthy and strong for our family.

  15. […] listening to them. It was even a timely discussion for me to hear, as I’ve recently writtenย a blog post that expresses how tired and burnt-out I was, for the past couple of […]

  16. Hi Mommy Chelle,Hope you feel better now,Ganito naman talaga tayong mga mommies,kahit na may nararamdaman pa need pa din natin ipagpatuloy ang pag aalaga sa family natin,wala ka na din choice dahil need natin maging responsable sa kanila,at need natin maging matibay at malakas sa araw araw para mas maibigay pa at mas maramdaman pa nila yung pagma mahal natin sa kanila..Take care mommy Chelle,GodBless!

    1. Thank you Mommy Ann. Oo nga, time will come rin naman that our kids will become less dependent on us. Which I think, medyo ikalulungkot ko rin when that time comes. Lalo na siguro during puberty stage nila noh? Hehe. Take care, too and God bless you and your family!

  17. Hugs, Mommy! ๐Ÿ™‚ I’ve been in that kind of situation too a lot of times, so I know you’ll be fine. My husband’s an OFW, my parents are both long gone now, and I don’t have a helper, too. At least you have your husband with you and in-laws that you can count on. Cheers! We, moms, are overcomers by God’s grace. ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Thank you, Mommy! Woah, ang tatag mo, Mommy! I’m in awe of the strength you have in you. Thanks for reminding me that though it might seem not so easy right now, I will get through it. And that the feeling of exhaustion will definitely pass. Thank God talaga for the strength He provides, us, Mommas!

  18. I realized this was posted 11 months ago? Anyway, is this what you’re feeling right now? Hope you’re fine! I’ve experienced it, and I became masungit and maldita to almost everyone haha, I felt na ako na lahat gumagawa, and so nung hindi ko na kaya, I told my husband about it. So now, every weekend, siya na nagpapaligo kay Maco, and nagkukusa na rin siya sa mga bagay bagay hehe ๐Ÿ˜‰

    1. Yes. You guessed it right! Haha! Those emotions are what I feel every now and then kahit pa 11 months ago na itong post na ito. I notice, too, that when I am already feeling restless, mas masungit din ako. It’s a momma thing, I guess! Naiisip ko na lang, kaya pala masungit si mama ko noon! Haha

  19. I hope you’re doing fine now. Lucky you, you have a husband and inlaws that will take care of your little ones when you are sick or need a day off. In my case, the father if my child left us hanging and his parents are on his side. Anyways! Mothers are capable of handling even the most painful situations in life! Kudos to all loving mothers out there. ๐Ÿ’•

    1. Oh… I’m sorry to hear about your child’s father. Anyway, you do not deserve someone who runs away from responsibility. And Moms are strong so I know you’ll get through everything life throws at you. Be strong, too! And take care of your health. ๐Ÿ™‚ God bless!

  20. I feel you momma. Even if my youngest s already 5, I always feel down and seems that I am aways tired and helpless. But yes, we can’t be sick or tired because we are MOM! We need to be strong, healthy and alive to take care of the family, do chores and also work at home …
    Stay healthy and better Momma. God Bless!

    1. Thank you, sis! I guess Mom means Superwoman as well. Whenever I feel down, I try to remember my mama and her sacrifices for us. Then parang nakakahiya naman kung parang susuko na ako sa isang bagets pa lang, when my mama was able to survive the exhaustion of raising 3 kids! Haha

  21. Though this post was 11 months ago, I do hope you’re doing well now. Did you attend the SP Raising Toddlers workshop? Parang I saw you there but I was shy to approach you hehe. Mothers need to rest for us to be more productive and so we can function better.

    1. Yes, I was there!! Yung buntith na naka-black! Haha! Sayang sis, sana na-meet na kita. Mukha pa namang matagal tagal pa yung next event na maa-attend-an ko since malapit na akong manganak. Anyway, thank you sis. ๐Ÿ™‚

  22. I remember there was one day that I was really feeling under the weather, but my hubby was at work, and my son had no school on that day, and as much as I wanted to file sick leave, I can’t! cause I’m actually a stay at home mom! hehe. but I guess feeling sick is a reminder for us to really take care of ourselves. take care and God bless ๐Ÿ˜‰

    1. Thank you! Yes, it’s our body’s signal talaga that we need to take a break and listen to our health. Oh, if only we moms can also file sick and vacation leaves, right? Haha!

  23. You’re a great inspiration for new moms like myself. Good job and I agree with all your insights. Hope motherhood is treating you better now, after 11 months.

    1. Thank you, Mommy Abby. ๐Ÿ™‚

  24. Motherhood can be exhausting and you know, sometimes I just wanna give up but I can’t cause you can’t escape being a mom. You really gotta embrace all the glamour and difficulties it comes with. I hope you’re feeling better with everything momma!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Thanks Mommy RJ! There are those days talaga noh? Kailangan lang magpaka-strong. We can do this! ๐Ÿ˜€

  25. Hugs to us. Haha you are not alone. ๐Ÿ™‚ I learned to choose rest over all the chores when needed. Just had to. “Bawal magkasakit” was a motto I had to embrace because there’s no time out for moms. ๐Ÿ™‚ every time I need strength, I just ask God for help. ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. I guess I need to embrace that motto, too. Especially now na malapit na ulit dumating ang bunso namin. ๐Ÿ˜€ Thanks sis!

  26. I also experienced last year that all of us got sick but I need to be okay agad for my two boys, I don’t mind my fever and body ache as long they feel better. But when hubby is not sick he took care of me and little kulit. Hope you feeling better now

    1. Oh my. Yan yung mahirap, pag nagsabay sabay kayong may mga sakit. Good thing the hubby is well-prepared na when he got better, kayo naman ang inasikaso nya. ๐Ÿ™‚

  27. Same question here. I sprained my ankle last month and I cannot take my daughter to her doctor’s appointments, I was too worried. Husband told me that I should take care of myself first, get my ankle checked-out and when I walk properly that’s the time I’ll take my daughter to her doctors. We need to take care of ourselves first because we cannot pour from an empty cup. Eat healthy. Exercise.

    1. Oh… I hope you’re doing fine now. And I super agree with eating healthy and regular exercise! I rarely exercise nowadays as I am pregnant na kasi. Walking and moving around the house is already enough to get me a little bit exhausted. Haha

  28. this was my question also when my son was still young, who doesn’t know how to talk yet and it just the two of us in the house. I was thinking what will happen if ever I collapse and can’t move. Who will help us? I’m glad that we survived that stage. We are now teaching him what to do if he’s left alone.

    1. I am also looking forward to that stage, too, wherein my kids will be less dependent on me. Then I know, I will somehow get the extra resting time I need to function at my best. ๐Ÿ™‚

  29. I feel you! I realized too that I couldn’t really take care of my family without taking care of myself first. ๐Ÿ™‚

  30. Everyone deserves a ME time and it’s everyone’s obligation to take care of his/herself. I am glad you are taking some time to rest, sis!

    1. Thank you sis! ๐Ÿ™‚

  31. Mommas need some me-time too. Please take a rest, good thing you can leave your son at your in-laws.

    1. My me-times are usually spent in the nail salon. I rarely get a massage which I think every mommas need and well deserved, right? Thank you sis! ๐Ÿ™‚

  32. I feel you! Hugs, sis! We really need to take better care of ourselves to care better for our families. And I guess we also have to let our better half know that we need their help sometimes.

    1. Thank you sis. ๐Ÿ™‚

  33. den

    Take it one day at a time. ๐Ÿ™‚ We really should look after ourselves because people depend on us as well. Hugs to you!

  34. All of us need some time off. I find that traveling alone can recharge me. ๐Ÿ™‚

  35. awwww…..mahirap talaga maysakit ang mommy kasi you know you still need to look after your brood. I remember being pregnant and nauseaus but still needing to take care of a baby and a 4 year old bec my husband was at work.

  36. I could just relate- the joys and agony of being a mom. Just hang on there for sure you’re going to be fine.

  37. Feel better soon mum, and do not feel guilty to take that extra zzz hours or rest, especially when you need it!

    It really is important for us mums to practice self-care. No one will take care of us or the kids or the husband if we fall ill. From time to time, I just lie on the couch doing nothing to give myself a break. I also read books or bike to de-stress. I also started this personal monthly thing of doing something fun or something I absolutely love once a month. I attended a workshop for mums and watched my most favorite band in January and February. I skipped last month but was able to do some serious shopping for books and stationary stuff. I am still thinking of what to do this month and I am seriously contemplating on joining a Calligraphy workshop. Pauses like these are essential in keeping our minds and prevent us from burning out. Our families will thank us for doing this even once a month.

  38. Aw, I hope you are feeling ok na. We really need to take care or ourselves too mader! Ako when I feel burnt out, I date myself, pamper myself, and do what I love doing like crochets or eat out or anything! Anything that will keep you energized. Because at the end of the day, our kids still need us no matter what. ๐Ÿ™‚

Let me hear your precious thoughts! :)